No choice but to swim

In life I find those who take a stand and who go against the flow in order to remain true to themselves to be the most inspirational influences.  How simple it is to be typical and 'follow the leader'.  No, no no.  It's about being an individual.  The road for those of us who believe in the phrase "I'm free to be me", don't travel so easy.  On this road we encounter loneliness & rejection - almost to the point where you stop and think somethings wrong with me.  I have learned to stop thinking that way.  I think it's a natural thought pattern after years of being an individual.

To those out there taking a stand in honor of your liberty, continue to fight the fight that wages war against your life.  Stand tall, stand strong...this road is only so long.  When no one calls to give you those words of encouragement to go on, remember that we all have inner strength inside us.  I remember nights when I prayed and truly believed that someone would be sent my way to give my encouragement.  Almost every time, I was left feeling lonelier that before - loosing more and more faith in mankind and my 'friends'.  Through those terrible experiences I learned that inner strength is found when you're alone and have no one to rely but yourself.  It's either sink or swim.  True fighters look at it from one point of view: SWIM!  No choice but to swim.

I say never give up, never give in...seasons change.  And know that your day is coming.

No time like the present

I know, I know I've been away too long.  I admit I've been a little self absorbed as of late haha.  Between work and being sick I haven't had time to update.  Hope everyone is doing great.  Tomorrow's Friday - another week behind me (amen).  Tomorrow I want to give it all I've got and do an even better job while helping to improve the lives of animals.  For the last couple of weeks I've honestly been giving it 90% of what I've got because of my utter disgust with certain people in the work place.  Years ago I told myself I would never let the politics change how I feel about my job, because it's something I genuinely love.  It's always easier to say it than do it.  The laziness of some people is just appalling, to the point where I want to just meet them at their game.  I can be lazy too, if you want me to play this game with you.  However,  I've had to step back to remind myself that some of us do this job because we love animals.  I won't be pulled into mediocrity because of someone else's short comings and lack of ambition.  I'm not waiting for next week to come before I choose to start over.  Today is the day...now is the time.

When it's gone, it's gone.

Why is it that in the moments of tragedy, heartache, & pain I seem to see my life from a different point of view?  I value my existence a little more.  I don't get it.   Everyday I wake up should be reason enough for me to smile.  Some days I wake up and I immediately think "here we go again, new day, same $#!%"...sad but it's true.  I have really put a focus on being a better, more positive person this year.  The last week at work has been far from the best, but hey I'm still here.  I have must some fight left in me huh?  I thought I realized how this whole life thing works, unlike I saw how I've started to let small unimportant things taint my life.  Through anothers tragedy I've taken notice to my short comings and it shames me.  Life is precious, plain and simple it's a gift.  It's raining out right now, which doesn't really help the mood.  As I sit here I'm thinking of tomorrow...

An old friend and former classmate of mine will be laid to rest tomorrow morning.  A genuinely good person that I never really thought would leave this life so soon.  There's a freedom in death, no more worries, sorrows, or pain but then there's the other part of death, imprisonment.  Those left to live on and agonize over things we wish we'd said and done, but now it's too late.  Time is of the essence.  When it's gone, it's gone.

My review: The Mariah show

Hello everyone!  I'm still feeling really good from last night!  It's the MC high!  I went to the Mariah Carey concert in Atlanta at the Fox Theatre.  Wait, did I just call her by first and last name?  I never do that!  We've been hanging together since 1990...she's known (to me) as 'M', 'MC', or just Mariah...back to the point, sorry for going into that spiral.  The show was incredible!  Mariah performed 17 songs, all of which were LIVE!  What else would you expect from her?  Her personality was entertaining (to us fans) as always.  During the 2 hour set, she poked fun at herself for being hailed a 'diva', calling make-up & hair assistances on stage for a "touch up", requesting a wine glass with "apple juice" (after taking a sip she says "this ain't apple juice I don't care what you say"), requesting a mic stand, having a throng of male dancers carry her on and off the stage.  These are things we love her for!  When you're Mariah Carey (there I go again) you can do that and it's part of the 'norm'.

The showed had a good mix of new & old material.  Of course I was on my feet the entire time, singing every song along with her.  Her dedication of "Angels Cry" to the victims of the Haiti tragedy was particularly moving.  Lots of emotion--I can't even explain the chill bumps that took over my body.  Speaking of emotion, my favorite song of the night was when she took us back to 1991...yes she performed "Emotions".  You know the song with about 200 high notes and runs.  MC proved that she still "has it", she hit every note and created some new ones in the song like she was 21 years old again.  "We Belong Together" was the crowd mover for sure.  I saw an old couple (looks like they were in their mid 60s) swaying and holding each other while singing every line of the song.  Oh did I mention "We Belong Together" was named SONG OF THE DECADE by Billboard magazine?  It was Mariah's 16th #1...we call it her 'sweet 16'.  After the show I waited outside the backstage area to meet MC...and well let me tell ya, she was the complete opposite of Mary J. Blige (lest we forget the Best Buy experience last month? I think not).  Mariah came out and took pictures with the fans, signed memorabilia, & talked with us.  She actually made the fans feel like we're worth more than the money we pour into her pockets.  Ahh, I'm forever a fan!  Also her staff was much nicer than that of a certain other diva.  I was extremely happy to be able to meet some very special people (to me) like her long time friend and back up vocalist Trey Lorenz.  For those of you who don't know who that is, he's the gentleman singing with her on her 6th #1 single I'll Be There.  It was Trey's birthday, so we sang for him as he came out to meet & greet with everyone.  The other back up vocalist (I love Sherry!) was very kind, stopping to take pics and chat with everyone, the dancers, and body guards were all in good spirits.  All in all it was worth more than what I paid!  Mariah did the damn thing!

Haiti

Sitting here preparing for bed, what a long but successful work day.  Only a few days left until the Mariah concert!  I'm thinking of how blessed I am. To see me some days you wouldn't know that I'm thankful for all I have.  I want to continue striving for a stronger sense of humility.  In this tough economy I have a job, food, shelter and then some.  Why do senseless tragedies have to happen in order to provoke me to step back, look at my life and realize just how good I have it?  The citizens and victims of Haiti are in my prayers everyday.  Thank You Lord for putting me in a position to be able to give.  They too are our brothers and sisters...let us not forget that.

Angels Advocate Tour

Only 6 days left!!!!! :)

Happy New Year! Less is more

Belated happy new year everyone!  I'm so thankful to be here to see 2010, what a blessing!  I don't really get into New Years resolutions, mainly because I forget most of them within a week or just give up and say 'the hell with it' out of frustration haha.  Why add unnecessary stress to my life for the first week of a new year?  The only thing I've committed myself to is enjoying life even more and being an all around better person.  I'm kinda cheating, because those are two elements of life I'm always working to improve on.  I have hope that I'll be successful with both feats again this year.  Looking back at my life over the last 5 years I would say I've changed (for the better) and continuously finding myself being molded into a better person who enjoys life for what it's worth.  Speaking from personal experience it helped me to give the ax to a lot of people in 2009.  The year was practically smooth sailing in comparison to previous years.  Less "friends"=less drama=less depression=less self loathing.  I never dreamed I'd prefer having a simplistic life with only 2 or 3 friends, as opposed to always being surrounded by people, doing socially appealing things.  It's overrated.  That's a testament to my growth beyond childish needs for love & acceptance by people.  In more ways than one I feel like that same child, burnt many times, but refusing to remain bitter.  I just want to remain as positive as possible and take my life one day at a time...enjoying myself, my friends, & the journey that has led me to this place.

Happy New Year
-A

P.S.
I'm going to start my year off by enjoying Mariah LIVE in Atlanta on January 19th!  I can't wait to see her since my favorite songs live on her "Angel's Advocate" tour :)