Haiti

Sitting here preparing for bed, what a long but successful work day.  Only a few days left until the Mariah concert!  I'm thinking of how blessed I am. To see me some days you wouldn't know that I'm thankful for all I have.  I want to continue striving for a stronger sense of humility.  In this tough economy I have a job, food, shelter and then some.  Why do senseless tragedies have to happen in order to provoke me to step back, look at my life and realize just how good I have it?  The citizens and victims of Haiti are in my prayers everyday.  Thank You Lord for putting me in a position to be able to give.  They too are our brothers and sisters...let us not forget that.

Angels Advocate Tour

Only 6 days left!!!!! :)

Happy New Year! Less is more

Belated happy new year everyone!  I'm so thankful to be here to see 2010, what a blessing!  I don't really get into New Years resolutions, mainly because I forget most of them within a week or just give up and say 'the hell with it' out of frustration haha.  Why add unnecessary stress to my life for the first week of a new year?  The only thing I've committed myself to is enjoying life even more and being an all around better person.  I'm kinda cheating, because those are two elements of life I'm always working to improve on.  I have hope that I'll be successful with both feats again this year.  Looking back at my life over the last 5 years I would say I've changed (for the better) and continuously finding myself being molded into a better person who enjoys life for what it's worth.  Speaking from personal experience it helped me to give the ax to a lot of people in 2009.  The year was practically smooth sailing in comparison to previous years.  Less "friends"=less drama=less depression=less self loathing.  I never dreamed I'd prefer having a simplistic life with only 2 or 3 friends, as opposed to always being surrounded by people, doing socially appealing things.  It's overrated.  That's a testament to my growth beyond childish needs for love & acceptance by people.  In more ways than one I feel like that same child, burnt many times, but refusing to remain bitter.  I just want to remain as positive as possible and take my life one day at a time...enjoying myself, my friends, & the journey that has led me to this place.

Happy New Year
-A

P.S.
I'm going to start my year off by enjoying Mariah LIVE in Atlanta on January 19th!  I can't wait to see her since my favorite songs live on her "Angel's Advocate" tour :)

Countdown to 2010!!!

Looking forward to ending this year!  I'm happy that I've made it this far, and I pray to see the next year too.  I'm 25 years old now and determined to grow a little more, see a little more of the world, enjoy my life a little more, give a little of myself to my job--simple 'resolutions'.  This year I was very successful with something that I thought would bring about more peace in my life...STAYING AWAY FROM NEGATIVE PEOPLE!  Some think I went crazy because I went on a massive downsizing socially.  Of course the people that thought I was going mad are the people I chose to rid my life of.  Haha funny how that works huh?  Seriously after the seeing  positive energy that came from getting rid of unnecessary people I am convinced that I did what was right.  I'm an independent person who doesn't thrive on the social scene (anymore).  It's overrated--plain and simple.  Give me a glass of wine and a classic movie alone any day over some pretentious, self indulging, judgmental people.  Take it from me: keeping life simple can change your life for the best!  To the few people who are always in my corner (and you know who you are :) THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!  I'll see you next year for sure :)

New years plans?  It's looking like a few drinks with my a couple special friends....ringing in 2010 with a ray of positivity.  I hope ALL OF YOU have a wonderful new year!  I'm pretty sure this will be my last blog for 2009.  Of course twitter.com/thatguyantonio will keep you updated until I blog again :)

Love

-A

P.S.

Joan- thank you VERY much for the painting!  I can't stop staring at it (sounds a little 'self-indulging' LOL) but I really do love it!  Couldn't have asked for anything better :) 

Merry Christmas!

MERRY CHRISTMAS! ENJOY CHRISTMAS MARIAH STYLE :)

Shame on you Mary

I spent 7 1/2 hours waiting in line to see Mary J. Blige at her album signing at Best Buy (@ Union Square) Tuesday.  Her newest album Stronger With Each Tear was released the day before.  I've always like Mary for the message in her music and her growth into a positive performer.  I think I would have come out better by just allowing myself to admire from afar, because the whole process truly pisses me off every time I think about it.  Of course I don't want to keep thinking about it, but you know how it is when something really pisses you off; you find your mind wandering back to it -- it's practically impossible to stop myself.  It just keeps popping up in my head.  The weather was cold & frigid (hello in New York in December), 24 degrees is serious enough, but when combined with angry New Yorkers who were pissed because we were blocking the street outside the store, it only makes it worse.  I was #6 in line, not a bad spot.  After about 3 hours my body started trying to succumb to the elements, so I played the whole "mind over matter" bit.  Frozen hands, feet, face, & starving...then "Mary's people" came to tell us that she was on her way, but first here's a few things you must know:


1. NO PHOTOS-if you're caught with a camera or phone you will be removed from the line
2. PLEASE DON'T ASK MS. BLIGE ANY QUESTIONS
3. DON'T ASK HER TO PERSONALIZE YOUR CD, SHE WILL SIGN HER NAME ONLY
4. DON'T ASK FOR A HUG OR HAND SHAKE


If I hadn't waited so long I would have walked away at that point.  Are you kidding me?  I know Mary is a legend in the R&B/Hip-Hop world, but let's be real she's no Michael Jackson or Mariah Carey.  7 1/2 hours and I can't even get a photo, a hug, or ask the bitch a question?  Please tell me this is a joke.  Anyway whatever, I got my autographed and told Mary really quickly that I'd been waiting for over 7 hours--she made really good eye contact and said "oh thank you so much, really"...what the crap?  By the end of the whole ordeal I was pretty much over Mary & the hype.  I can't even bring myself to listen to the CD.  I've tried twice but it pisses me off to hear her voice now.  And now her smurf hair style annoys me even more...everything about Mary pisses me off! So I've decided to try to make the best of the situation.  I'm putting the autographed CD on eBay...bidders take your mark

STAND

2009 has been a year of immense growth for me.  What was started in 2008 really took off in 2009.  I've been molded into a place of self assurance.  I know who I am and what I want.  With this metamorphosis I've encountered many a battles on the personal front.  In fact, I can't say that I'm not enduring some new battles at this very moment.  I know I've been blessed beyond all measure just by the fact that I'm still here today, standing.  Of the lessons I have learned this year, there's one I'll keep with me forever; the realization that it's better to just STAND than run. Many, many, many times this year I was brought face to face with new and bigger fears. Many times when there were no answers at the moment to settle my heart and emotions, I would just stand.  Thinking: either I'm going make it through this or it's going to defeat me, but either way I'm not running back.  Move forward or don't move at all.  I think it's the whole mentality that no one and nothing is going to make me run anymore.  Forward motion is a sign of progress, things are changing, improving, and lessons are being learned.  Running back is the complete opposite.

I can't help but think of those who meant nothing more than to harm me, kill my spirit, take the love and compassion from my heart.  Sorry, you didn't succeed.  I know 2010 and beyond will have it's Christa Bragg's and family members who will plot to dig a grave for me.  That's called LIFE.  But more importantly I know that with those negative elements if I remain true to who I am I will always have the right people in my corner.  I'm not sure if I'll get to post again before the year ends but if not I want to say a very special and dear thanks to those of you who have remained true.  Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!  Back to New York next week...and I can't wait :)

Love,

-A