Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Exhausted

Another day huh? Today has been a pretty good day. Very busy with work of course. I didn't really have time to think of the current things that have been vexing me. That is one reason why I loved being consumed with work, things get so busy you have to remind yourself to breathe. I did have lunch with Tracy & Mrs. Betty today. I feel really awful, because I think I came across a little rude. This is one of my closests friends, who is down from New York for a few weeks. She repeatedly said that "something is wrong" cause I wasn't being myself, or the Antonio that she's known all these years. I honestly wanted to say I'm not even sure of who I am anymore. Or at least that's how it feels. I truly regret letting everything I've been dealing with to play into how I treated her. But I just didn't have it in me to be social, as pathetic as that sounds. I'm just exhausted. Run down from exhaustion. I'm not one for giving up without a fight, but I'm feeling like I've fought and fought and I'm in a losing battle. Defeat stinks. But what more can I do? It takes at least two people to make anything work. And at this point all that keeps ringing in my mind is "just let it die, with no goodbye's."

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