Quest for freedom

It's an emotional roller-coaster, one day I feel like I can live on through anything, then I feel like I'm a worthless sap who has the strength of a kitten.  I can be bold and honest with everyone right now and say my life is in shambles.  I know some people don't understand where I'm at, sometimes I don't even think I understand.  Abandonment effects us all differently.  I know that with the love and help of my few friends I can survive.  Above that, if they all decide to abandon me tomorrow I know with God I can survive this battle.  Though it hurts, so deep that I feel a physical pain each time I think of the situation I know I'll be OK.  I feel as though I'm making progress.  Very slow progress.  I have met a couple of great people who seem to really get my vibe and care about the same values in life as myself.  But if there's one thing I've learned from this experience that is ANYONE can put on an act.  Then without warning just leave you high and dry.  And have a good laugh while doing so.  With the assistance of some medication I've felt much better than I did last week when the "final" blow took place.  But I know medicine isn't the answer.  I'm going to take some time off and go away for awhile to gather myself and seek a professional opinion as to how I can move on without anger and vengeance in mind.  I was skeptical of what people would think if they knew I was seeing a therapist, but the good news is I don't care.  I've got to do what is best for me and do what will help me continue to be a contribution to the world.  I haven't given it just yet, so don't count me out.