Crazy clones!

Lindsay & Andre3000 must be stopped! Crazies on every corner! No one rocks the "mocs" like I.

partied out!!!

I had a great weekend. And I needed it. Since work is my life, I find myself sometimes becoming overwhelmed with my commitment to the job that I love. But we all need a moment to be carefree, right? Friday night Stephanie & I went out for drinks and a good laugh. I haven't her since our class gathering last December. Saturday night I went out clubbing with two of my other class mates, Joey & Kim. Me and clubbing are a rarity, I thought I retired from that whole scene a couple of years ago. Surprised I still knew what to do! But all in all, it was a great weekend of pure fun. Back to sitting home with my dogs and reading:)

HELP, HELP, HELP

I made this video to help show the immense amount of help that is still needed to cure the worldwide AIDS epidemic. Become a giver. www.one.org, everyone can help in some form.

Not so good day

Can't believe I'm almost through the month of June.  I am looking forward to July, I'll be on vacation for a week at the end of that month.  I'm feeling like I could use it RIGHT NOW.  Today was one of those days where it seems like no matter how much of yourself you put into your job and making others around you happy, it just doesn't matter to anyone.  People still grouch and treat you like you're worthless.  Typically Thursdays are my off days, but I came in for Marlee.  And I'm glad I did, I saw a few really special clients that made me forget all about the unhappy, bitter people I must deal with some times.  I don't like feeling as though I'm being ungrateful but I also don't like for others to take "advantage" of a situation or a particular person because they are really laid back.  Maybe I'm seen as too laid back.  But really, what is the point in getting bent out of shape.  A positive attitude goes much further than sarcasm & hostility.  I'm home now, and I have my pets to deal with, so I'm going to forget today.  It's all you can do sometimes.

My kittens are growing and I'm preparing to give them to Save-A-Pet in about four weeks, to be adopted out.  It has been a very fun filled and often stressful journey raising these poor little things.  Thank God for no kill animal shelters and those that volunteer! 

We Are The World

3:35 a.m. and I am wide awake. You can't pay me to sleep at this moment. I have a lot on my mind. Nothing to do with my personal life, just some thoughts on life in general. This picture represents so much of the world. Dying, starving, destitute, malnourished, heartbroken, scared by the conflicts of mankind. Those that know me, know that world peace, HIV/AIDS, and famine is always on my mind.

"Why"? That's a loaded word in this case. That one word represents a question so deep and intense that most of us would rather ignore it. I'm not this callow, unrealistic person who has completely lost my grip on how the world works. But I know that with one person we can change the world. IMPACT. It's all about impact. Why live a life with no impact for the better? Positive impact should be like sharing a common winter cold. I thank God often for allowing me to live in this great country. I must constantly keep myself in check, because I know that I could easily be living anywhere else in the world. But He chose to place me here. But surely there's a reason why He's blessed so many of us to live America. No matter how bad our economy may or may not be doing, there's more places where things are far worse. GIVE, GIVE, GIVE!!! No matter how big or small. Everything counts. I'm not sure if world hunger will end before I am called home, but I want to know that I gave it my all to impact people to give, help, & heal the wounds of the world. Find ways to give and contribute. My personal favorite charity is the ONE campaign. It's a campaign that is near and dear to my heart for a number of reasons. Mostly because it's going into the countries where hunger & the HIV/AIDS virus are a all time high, and the campaign is making an impact! Ahh, that's is one of my favorite words. I cry at the thought of so many people not taking advantage of impacting someone else's life, literally cry. A warm river of emotion streams down my face uncontrollably. Passing by a person in need when you know you have the means to help is wrong. It's gross and offensive to be frank. How about taking a leap of faith and helping someone even when you don't have the means? How about trusting that when you reach out in that faith and help someone else, in turn someone is going to reach out and help you? It's all about sharing this place and being there for each other. WE ARE THE WORLD.

Go to ONE.org and find a way to give. There's a number of ways. This issue rides so heavy on my chest that I find it hard to breath at times. Knowing there's more people suffering out there and I can't make each one better is often hard to accept. I'm very thankful for my job and the money I make, but I know it's only a gift from God that He intends for me to share. My heart cries where there's suffering and pain, yet people walk on by as though that suffering person isn't a brother or sister. To be blunt, we're selfish (by nature) and most of us are completely at peace with the mentality of "I worked for mine so I'm going to spend it how I want. They can get up and work for there's." How can anyone find peace in thinking that way? I guess that's something I will never be able to fathom.

"Birds of a feather flock together", I'm not sure who came up with that quote. But how true it is. Like minds hang around other like minds. I'm a giver and I want to hangout with other givers. Social class doesn't play a part into being a giver. Everyone can be a giver. My friends/associates are in all the social class ranges. But giving is apart of all of our lives. Yes, it's fun to shop, vacation, drink fine wine and enjoy the "norm" of American life. But if life is only about the celebration of self then is there a point to living anymore? Seriously, there's got to be something deeper out there...

Vultures & leeches

Do you ever have a moment when something inside just kind of says "something isn't right here"?  Today was my day I guess.  Some things came to the surface for me.  I'm not sure if certain people are using me?  Or am I merely making myself available as their fool?  Perhaps I'm just naive and don't pick up on things quickly enough.  I used to be sharp in the area of protecting myself from vultures.  I've been around long enough to know that people will use and abuse you like it's nothing.  They'll do it without giving a second thought to how catastrophic can be for others involved.  It's a dog eat dog world, for most.  I don't really agree with that mentality.  Maybe that's just sad on my part, refusing to agree with reality.  The thought that someone would want to take advantage of my kindness or my friendship vexes me.  Isn't it the golden rule that treat others how you want to be treated?  I firmly believe that's the way it should be.

I've always said people treat you the way you allow them to.  Never let someone get comfortable having control over you in any form.  Often I think we give people control over us mentally without noticing it until things are out of hand.  In retrospect I could probably have rearranged some things weeks, month, or even years ago that would have me facing a different realization.  A much better situation could be taking place now.  I'm tired of leeches.

That's the problems with Sundays and any other days I have off.  When I get ten minutes to not do something constructive I start to think.  And thinking causes me to realize how some things are truly messed up.  Flat out wrong and not fair things.  No matter how long things may have been going on, I tend to come to face them only when I have free time.  I don't want to have anger, bitterness, or rage towards anyone.  But I'm rather pissed right now as I write this.  In case anyone is wondering why I always throw myself into work, well here ya go.  Being behind those doors helps me forget that there's something called reality outside of Banfield.  And reality isn't always something I want to face.

Feeling a little accomplished

I've had a very busy day. I'm feeling very successful because I got about 70% of my planned tasks accomplished. For me that is exceptional. Of course I spent hours taking care of my animals. I am so proud of the kittens, I've had them for a week and one day. They are now eating and drinking on their own. That alone is reason enough to celebrate. I think they'll be ready to go to new homes in a couple of weeks. I am finding myself becoming attached to them, but I keep reminding myself that I really can't take anymore on than what I have already. Four dogs and two cats would be insanity. Today I also got a lot of neccessary cleaning done. I still have more to do, but that'll have to wait until I'm off again, which will be Sunday.

Forgiveness is powerful

I was just sitting here thinking (as usual) and listening to some music. Blessed by Rachael Lampa to be specific. The song is important to me because it's the one song that single handedly made one of the biggest impacts in my life --ever. It's funny how we find ourselves ready to throw in the towel and give up, then what seems to be suddenly or out of nowhere God sends us a ray of hope. And "Blessed" was literally my saving grace in 2001 when I was going through the most difficult year of my life. Though things are not going the best right now in my personal life I am choosing to believe that it will all work out for the good.

I am dealing with some people who seem to only want to drain the life out of me. People who would rather see my mistakes instead of my effort to be a good human being to everyone. Sometimes I feel alone. The outcast. My theology on life has always been really simple: Love and forgiveness should be like breathing, let it be a natural thing. Love until it hurts, love until you think you're going to explode from all the love you have inside, love without condition, love because it's what unites us all. I admit I fail from time to time. I allow my emotions to win the battle sometimes, but thank God for new days.

Today at work I honestly felt overwhelmed. I was being pulled and pushed in every direction. Today composure was completely underrated. I wanted to go somewhere and just wail at the top of my lungs, just for the sake of feeling I was letting the stress out. I think the only reason I remained calm and focus was the fact that I know God has blessed me greatly with a job that I love. Animals have always been my life, and I thank Him for letting me have a job that I all I have to do is work with critters. In the mayhem today I found myself feeling that no one noticed I was giving a 150% of myself. But I know all that matters is He saw it and understands.

In my personal life I am feeling a little 'used' (if that's even the right word) by some people. I want to approach things right. Next to my thoughts on love, I feel that forgiveness is one of the most powerful peace movements one person can make. I forgive you for any wrong you may have done to me, and I hope you can find forgiveness for anything I have done to you. If it's ment for me to cut ties with some people I will be willing to do that. I just don't think it's in the cards for me to be used or mistreated. Anything to seek my goal of peace....unbridled peace