Have you ever done something that you knew would be against your better judgement? It's almost like when your mind tells you not to do it, something inside makes you want to do it even more. Tonight I decided to go against what my mind lead me to do. I was on facebook (the evil, evil social networking site), I was viewing the profile of an old friend. While on her page I noticed one of my traitors left her a few comments talking about all she's been "dealing with" and how she's just so hurt, upset, yada yada (poor her). Of course once I started reading I had to keep digging deeper and deeper; further infuriating myself (why oh why must I torture myself). I read a blog she posted for everyone to see, basically praising herself for being this spectacular mom throughout the years, and how she's just been swung and hit with the mightiest of blows from life, or whatever.
Now a few things in particular made me a little hot under the collar. First and foremost I find it unsettling that this person is being so self-righteous and having a pity party just because she knows all the "Christians" will attend and further sooth her already gigantic ego. Of course by "Christian" I mean, the 21st century Christian. Those that 'love you with the love of the Lord', until you step or think outside their box. Then the message is pretty much screw you --we're too good for your kind. You're not good enough for our group. I know it all sounds like a cult, believe it or not Christianity was never intended to be this way. But whatever, I'll let the biblical scholars debate that. I was even more heated that this person refuses to accept the fact that there's no one to blame for her child's choices in life. Everyone reaches a point in life when they do what they want, whether you like it or not. Seriously placing partial blame on me is complete non sense and offensive. Now this person continues to carry around her bible (so you know she's trying to handle things the 'Christian' way), and wearing her heart-broken face...attention hog, if you ask me. Simply seeking sympathy. I'm sure inside she's enjoying being the star of her own little reality show. Don't look my way for any pity, I say grow a pair and get on with your life.
The thing that hurts the most is that this person and these people used to be a major part of my life. Some of them were inspirations to me, heroic in my eyes. People responsible for 'leading' me to the Lord. People of whom were under the call of God to lead and guide others. People of integrity, dignity, & (biblical) love. People who were my 'family'. Now because things have gotten a little rocky in the life of a select few individuals people are taking sides (though they'll never admit it). Anyway, whoever thinks I am responsible for any decisions Meghan has made is mistaken. Clearly you must not know me either, if this is in fact what you're thinking. As far as Keisha is concerned my pity and sympathy ran out for her when her true colors were revealed. When she stopped LOVING and starting JUDGING. It's even more offensive that things are being said that put me in a position of blame. And only one person has had the heart to talk to me about this. It's only fair that I have the chance to defend my reputation.
I feel better venting through my blog. Now I am done with this madness. There's no reputation to defend against that sad cynical group of colossal losers. In their eyes I've gone too far "astray" for them to associate with. Dead and gone.
Lesson of the night: listen to your first mind and stop before you piss yourself off!!!
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